Loves,
Sunday, September 4, 2011
It's not personal, it's business
There are a few things I know about myself (I know, it's only taken me 30+ years... and I'm still learning!), one of them is that I take things too personally. Remember Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in You've Got Mail (one of my favs!), when Joe tells Kathleen that "it's not personal, it's business" (regarding the fact that the big book store is forcing her family's small book store out of business??) I feel like Kathleen on many occasions... IT IS PERSONAL! When, really, it's not. Why is it so hard for me to realize that the choices that other people make does not always relate to something I did and/or didn't do said and/or didn't say?? I tend to think... is it my fault? did I do something wrong? did I say something hurtful to them? should I call? should I apologize? should I avoid? AAAHHH... How does one get over this? I know that it's been a part of who I am for as long as I can remember. Will this change? I don't ever want to be a thick skinned person, but there must be a balance between where I'm at and where I could be... or should be? Should I work harder at being thick(er) skinned? Maybe I should just be who I am and be OK with that, but if I don't work on changing this part of me, will I continue to be heart-hurt every time I feel rejected/ignored/not-taken-seriously/dumped/left-out/brushed off/cold-shouldered/confronted/slighted??? Of course, I don't always feel this way but on too many occasions even the smallest thing can send me there (you know where... to that place in your heart where you feel like someone else's decision was in fact, well...personal...to you!). I don't get mad or try to get even, I get bummed. I get sad. I worry (this CAN'T be good for me). I've been trying this summer not to let fear hold me back, trying not to let fear lead to worry and doubt. Basically, I'm a work in progress. I know we all are in our different ways. Maybe you don't take things personally, like me, but we've all got our "stuff" to work on, right? I'm going to work on this. I think for my health, sanity, peace of mind I need to work on not taking everything so personal. And if you're still reading...thanks for sticking with me through this not so cheery post.
Loves,
Loves,
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Great post . . . I suffer from the opposite of this . . . I don't really take anything personally, which can have other consequences. I am not sure which extreme that I would rather have, but I do have to force myself sometimes to react differently to people, because I often forget that something that isn't a big deal to me, could be a big deal for them. so, in short, PLEASE feel free to call me out or let me know if I've hurt your feelings or have made you feel like any of those things you described. I promise I won't take it personally . . . :)
ReplyDeleteI thought I'd left a comment already, but it is gone . . . so I'll try again, sorry if you get a duplicate.
ReplyDeleteGreat post . . . You may already know that I have the opposite problem, I hardly ever take anything personally, even when I probably should. This, of course, has its own problems. I also find that I have had to work really hard to tone down my reactions/direct communication to other people as I sometimes forget that something that isn't a big deal to me, might be a big deal to them. So, in short, please feel free to call me out and let me know if I make you feel any of the feelings you described in your post. I promise not to take it personally . . . love you alli!
Thanks Jamie (ps. the first comment went in to spam for some reason, so I un-spamed it). I appreciate your thoughts and reactions. It sounds like we're at pretty opposite ends of the spectrum here. Maybe we're a good balance for each other :)
ReplyDeleteYeah this is tough! I often do the same thing and find myself brooding or over-analyzing a situation after it's happened...it's good to find balance somehow (not great at it yet but I'm trying) and keep your sensitivity but also have a little bit of a tough skin so that you don't get hurt constantly by things people didn't do on purpose. Sigh...It's hard though!!!!
ReplyDelete